If you read this blog regularly, you’ve noticed my last, oh,
a dozen or so posts have been rambling and melancholy bits about life. So I
decided to do a fun top ten list to change things up a bit.
a dozen or so posts have been rambling and melancholy bits about life. So I
decided to do a fun top ten list to change things up a bit.
Last week I was at an event helping to sell books (the Celebrate Recovery summit at Saddleback Church in California). I was
fortunate to meet a lot of people and hear comments about the books Never
Let Go and Home Run. This made me think of the top things I’ve been
told/asked since having my first book published in 2000. I made a list of ten
of those things and replies I’d love to give (expect sarcasm).
fortunate to meet a lot of people and hear comments about the books Never
Let Go and Home Run. This made me think of the top things I’ve been
told/asked since having my first book published in 2000. I made a list of ten
of those things and replies I’d love to give (expect sarcasm).
#1: Is that your real name or a pen name?
No, my real name is Butch Longbow Heartblood. We just all
thought it might be a little too much on the cover of a book.
thought it might be a little too much on the cover of a book.
#2: You’re so young to be a writer!
Thanks. Do they let you read novels at the old folks
home?
home?
#3. I can’t believe you’ve written all those books!
Actually, I haven’t. I have a twin brother named
Traverse. He writes the really crappy stuff.
Traverse. He writes the really crappy stuff.
#4. Where do get your ideas from?
There’s a cute little shop in downtown Batavia where I
work. It’s called Creative Ideas Inc. I
try to buy them by the dozen.
work. It’s called Creative Ideas Inc. I
try to buy them by the dozen.
#5. Is this a true story?
Yes, it actually happens to be 100% true. Don’t mind that
word NOVEL on the cover. Or the whole description on the back cover about
some made up character. This totally happened.
word NOVEL on the cover. Or the whole description on the back cover about
some made up character. This totally happened.
#6. Oh, wait . .
you wrote this?
you wrote this?
Yes. I know I might seem quite dense after talking with
you for ten minutes, but rest assured, I’m taking notes, and the next character I kill
off in my story will be based on YOU.
you for ten minutes, but rest assured, I’m taking notes, and the next character I kill
off in my story will be based on YOU.
#7. I have so many books that I just can’t buy another.
So wait. . . you’re saying my baby is ugly?
#8. Is this
your first book?
your first book?
Yep. Those 25 others don’t count. Just this one.
#9. Oh, so you’re a Christian author?
Yes, and I’d really like for you to read my stuff since
you’re a sinner and I’m desperately trying to help save your soul.
you’re a sinner and I’m desperately trying to help save your soul.
#10. I just LOVED this book and couldn’t stop until I
finished it!
finished it!
Tell that to the moron who gave me one freaking star on
Amazon. Let’s go hunt him down. Now.
Amazon. Let’s go hunt him down. Now.