Dreams are a funny thing, aren’t they?
We walk around with pockets full of them when we’re young, but little by little, the dreams fall out by the time we get to adulthood. That’s just part of the aging process, I guess. That’s part of the wonderful thing called “wisdom”.
I’m forty years old. Damn. Sometimes I just say that and it makes me feel old. I still feel twenty-seven years old. Or at least that’s what I’d like to believe.
I’ve come to learn that dreams are seen differently when there are children in the picture. When there’s a family and responsibilities and expectations. The teen years and even the eternal twenty-something years are long gone. You have to wise up and get with the program and start growing up.
Growing up for me has been hard. Very hard at times.
That’s why on a night like tonight, as I’m watching a movie I’d already seen called The Rookie, I was balling like a baby.
I think first off, I’ve become a lot more emotional since having three girls. I’ve always been an emotional guy, but now—I can’t watch a Hallmark commercial without wiping my eyes. For the love. Seriously. I’m wondering what exactly happened to me. But Kylie, Mackenzie, and Brianna happened. And I thank God they did.
I now see the weight of the world through their eyes and perspective. My dreams are just that–my dreams. But I have a family to think about and try to support in any way possible.
Yet every day, I live out my dreams. The dreams of a third grader. They’re not just a slight reality—they’re the real deal and have been for four and a half years. Weeks and months pass by and I wonder how in the world I’m still doing this. How I’m making it. But I continue to do so. Somehow and someway.
Those dreams haven’t gone away. In fact, they’ve grown and intensified.
Because I believe I’m doing something I’ve always been meant to do. Something that I should be doing. And thankfully, God continues to open doors and allows me to keep the dream alive.
I watched The Rookie tonight because of this amazing baseball project I’m working on. The movie is called Home Run and it comes out this fall. I’m fortunate enough to be writing the novelization. Another door opened, another dream fulfilled.
But when I think about it, I don’t think about ME. The teen or twenty-something me. Now, I think about my family and about being able to do something I love to do. I feel gratitude. I feel humbled.
Dreams do come true. But so often, they happen after many, many hours of hard work and persistence. Every day I live a dream to be writing. Yet I also wonder why the dream sometimes seems so terrifying. That’s just reality. That’s just the responsibility of a parent.
The line that stood out in The Rookie more than most tonight was when the baseball player’s wife asks him this: “Do you still love it?”
It’s an important question.
Yes, I do.
The dreams I’ve carried around are still there. They just look a little different because I’m a little different. Or a lot different. I don’t know.
I want to dream for my three girls. That’s what I want to do. I want to one day let go of this insane journey uphill and then coast downhill with those little ladies by my side.
That sounds all sweet and wonderful, but I know it won’t be that easy. Anything in life—even dreams—comes with a price.
It’s nice to be reminded that dreams do come true. Perhaps not in the way we imagined they might, but they can still happen.
It’s never too late to keep hoping and keep dreaming and keep working very hard.
I'm forty-seven. I always considered you a young dude, what with the cute kids and all. But, now you're forty.
Welcome to the Club!
Your blog post is lovely, about the dreams and all. Straight talk. Straight as a chalk construction snap line. Good perspective. Keep the faith, brother T.
Mister Travis,
Thank you for this encouragement. We've not yet met, but I oftentimes hide behind the bushes around here. So, HOWDY.
Ya know, we are the same age and if I think too long on it, I could become depressed when I compare myself to you. But since God doesn't fancy that sort of thing, I won't do it.
But I will keep putting pen to paper — because I love it.
Blessings.
Hi, Coolkayaker. I thought my age was obvious when i released the book last year called 40. But I still want to keep that "young dude" title!
Simply Darlene–thanks for sharing. The thing I've heard is to never compare yourself with others writers. I do that all the time and come away depressed. Someone's always better or sells more or blah blah (unless your initial start with JK). Don't give up and don't compare! Just keep at it.
We're the same age, so here's some advice. 40 only feels weird when you feel you haven't accomplished anything. You have! You move people with your writing. You're obviously a loving father to your kids. Plus you're a true man of God. Keep doing what He wants you to do and you'll be fine. 40 isn't so bad!
Oh, and The Rookie? Yeah, tears me up too. Always wanted to be a baseball player but lacked the skills( and the body). Little League was enough to prove I wouldn't make it. Oh well.
Hope this makes you feel better!