#1. If there’s such a crisis with our economy, why do we have a Food Network?
#2. Since the “terrible two’s” actually start before two, what do I have to look forward to AFTER the actual birthday?
#3. How do you sell 1,300 copies of a book sitting on a pallet in your garage?
#4. Is it strange to make up song lyrics to pretty make every song you listen to in the car when you’re by yourself?
#5. Do some dogs not realize their dogs? And if so, is there a counselor for this?
#6. How many booksignings will it take before I say “Stop the madness!”
#7. Is it wrong to add an ex-girlfriend as a “friend” in Facebook?
#8. Does Boston Market really serve chicken?
#9. Is it seriously uncool that I have 8 Genesis albums in my cd collection?
#10. Do you fruit your beer?
A comment about number #2. You have a daughter, right? Love her, enjoy her, but it doesn’t get any easier…
Our ten-year-old daughter thinks I’m old and brain-dead. She may be more than half right.
RANDOM ANSWERS:
#1. If there's such a crisis with our economy, why do we have a Food Network?
THIS IS WHAT IS REFERRED TO BY ECONOMISTS AS A "CULTURAL ANOMALY". IN OTHER WORDS, THERE IS NO GOOD ANSWER.
#2. Since the "terrible two's" actually start before two, what do I have to look forward to AFTER the actual birthday?
THE TRULY TERRIBLE THINGS.
#3. How do you sell 1,300 copies of a book sitting on a pallet in your garage?
WHY ARE YOU SITTING ON A PALLET IN YOUR GARAGE? AND HOW EXACTLY WILL DOING THAT SELL BOOKS?
#4. Is it strange to make up song lyrics to pretty make every song you listen to in the car when you're by yourself?
I BELIEVE THIS QUESTION NEEDS AN EDITOR, BUT I ALSO BELIEVE IT IS NOT STRANGE AT ALL. STRANGE IS WHEN YOU FORGET THE REAL WORDS AND SING THEM WITH OTHERS IN THE CAR. STRANGE IS ALSO MY FIRST NAME (BUT I GO BY MY MIDDLE NAME, WHICH IS AARGH!).
#5. Do some dogs not realize their dogs? And if so, is there a counselor for this?
YES, BUT UNFORTUNATELY THE AMERICAN COUNSELING ASSOCIATION ONLY OFFERS LICENSES FOR "WHISPERERS" NOT CANINE COUNSELORS. THIS IS UNFAIR PRACTICE BECAUSE THEY DO OFFER REAL COUNSELING FOR HUMANS WHO THINK THAT THEY ARE DOGS. THAT'S WHAT I WOULD CALL A DOUBLE STANDARD. WOOF.
#6. How many booksignings will it take before I say "Stop the madness!"
I BELIEVE YOU JUST ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION.
#7. Is it wrong to add an ex-girlfriend as a "friend" in Facebook?
NOT IF YOUR ORIGINAL AGREEMENT WAS TO "JUST BE FRIENDS." IF, HOWEVER, THE AGREEMENT WAS "GET OUT OF MY LIFE YOU LYING DIRTBAG & STOP STALKING ME!" THEN YOU SHOULD PROBABLY THINK TWICE.
#8. Does Boston Market really serve chicken?
EXTREMELY GOOD QUESTION, BUT I MUST ADMIT THAT I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM NOR DENY THE ALLEGATIONS.
#9. Is it seriously uncool that I have 8 Genesis albums in my cd collection?
YES, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU'RE NOT A BETTER MAN FOR IT.
#10. Do you fruit your beer?
ONLY WITH MEXICAN.
Excellent answers, s.a.m.! You can see that I do need an editor, especially when quickly typing up nonsense like this! Love your sense of humor.
Ed–I do have a daughter. She is almost ready to turn two and already seems to be laughing AT me and not WITH me!